What is wrong with me…

I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix it. I’m trying. I’m trying. Why isn’t it enough? Why not. Why am I the one who isn’t hurting? Why am I the one who’s had it good? Why can’t I say it? Why can’t I fucking say it? I don’t sleep. I can’t focus. I’m crying all the damn time. All the damn time. In the shower, on the floor, in my bed, in the bathroom…as I do the fucking dishes. I’m crying right now. I know that I’m not enough. Damn it I know that I don’t have what you need. I know that I am always going to be the monster. I know that it will always be my fault. I know….but I will still get up in the morning and offer to buy you lunch.

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